Five Ways to Not Be a Social Media Creep

Joe Marchese had a very nice post this afternoon on MediaPost’s Online Spin blog entitled “How Not To Be Creepy.” Joe’s focus on avoiding creepiness specifically as a marketer in social media is well worth a read.

Meanwhile, across town in the twitterverse, a tête-à-tête of sorts was ensuring with the primary combatants being Scott Monty of Ford and social marketing maven Shel Israel. Their sometimes heated conversation (with various interjections from many, including yours truly) is also worth checking out via Twitter Search.

These two pieces, along with some recent conversations I’ve had, got me thinking about some very general guidelines for conducting oneself in online discussions. These kinds of ideas are nothing new of course, and Marchese makes the very good point that “it’s actually pretty simple not to be creepy. It’s a lot like not being creepy in real life.” Still, social media conversation, particularly in text, is not the same as “real life” communication. I think it’s worthwhile to keep a few simple ideas in mind in these kinds of interactions:

1. Be clear.
   Let people know who you are (if they don’t already.) Let people know who you work for, and when you are stating your own opinion vs. that of your employeer. I thought Scott did a really good job of this in the context of his conversation with Shel and others today. Also, as much as possible, let people know up front if you have a particular agenda or point of view. For example, if I find myself engaged in discussions regarding Podcamps, I try to let people know that I am a co-organizer of Podcamp Toronto and that I have attended a number of Podcamps. Hopefully that helps them to understand my point of view and contextualize what I have to say on the subject.
2. Ask permission.
   In the book “Tactical Transparency“, co-author Shel Holtz describes a comunication from a Park’n'Fly employee he received to unfavorable post about the company. One of my favorite lines in the response is “I would like to send you some free parking, can I do that?” Asking permission is like saying you’re sorry — it disarms people, and it very often leads them to be more receptive to your message. It also goes hand in glove with the next point…
3. Be humble.
   A friend of mine, years ago, was interacting with some potential customers in a forum. They had raised questions about his company, and he posted to the forum to try to help provide some information. It was a great thought, but he made the mistake of describing his organization as a “leading” company in their field. This line was right out of their marketing bumf, but in the context of a conversational exchange it came off as bragging, and he took quite a bit of flack for it. This goes along with the idea of people who represent themselves as “experts” in the social media space, an ongoing debate that continues today on Dave Fleet’s blog. What it really comes down to, I think, is people don’t respond well to braggarts, so don’t be one.
4. Do your homework.
   Know who you are talking to, and what you are talking about. One of the really terrific things about online conversations is that you can always pop up a browser tab and good a quick Google or Wikepedia search if you need more information. For goodness sakes, take advantage of this! Also, a well discussed and documented point, don’t start pitching bloggers or other media producers on stories until you know what they are about and how they like to be pitched.
5. Consider taking discussions private.
   The openness of the social space is great, but not all conversations have to take place out in the open. Social network platforms all have some kind of private message function, for good reason. If it’s at all sensitive, take it to the back-channel.

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